G, as in, Google

Dear Customer Service Lady,

I understand that you cannot always understand the English language or its accents. I thoroughly applaud you for the effort you put out, in fact, as I have worked with many people whose first language isn't English. It's amazing how much you have to deal with when trying to keep your job and accurately help the people you are supposed to be assisting.

However, there are a few things you still need to work on. Like when someone corrects you with the right spelling of a word. Or being able to remember that "Mr." means a man, and "ma'am" is for a woman.

For example, this is the conversation we had to day:

Me: quirkyjessi AT gmail DOT com
You: alright
Me: q u i r k y j e s s i AT gmail DOT com
You: alright
*silence*
You: ok, your address is q as in Quebec, u as in Utah, r r k
Me: no, q u *i* r k, I as in, um, Iceland
You: ok, j e s s y
Me: no, no, j e s s i, I as in Iceland again
You: ok, at yahoo, right?
Me: no, gmail
You: ok, jmail? as in jaguar?
Me: no, gmail, as in, uh, Google.
You: alright, let me put you on hold now while I look into your problem

~Gah, I haven't told you my problem yet! You haven't even gotten into my account yet because you can't understand the letters that I am spelling extra slow for you! I'll listen to the hold music for a few minutes, though.~

You: Alright, Miss Some-funky-name, may I speak to Mr. Some-funky-name?
Me: There is no Mr.. This is my account. My name is the only name on the account.
You: Well ma'am, I can give you general information about the account, but in order to give you any specific information, I have to speak to Mr. Some-funky-name.
Me: Ma'am, this is *my* account. There is no other name. It is only me. The name on the account will be something like "Jessi, Jessica, ItsJustJessi, Jessica *last name.*" There is no other name, only me.
You: Oh. *silence* So this is your account?
Me: Yes.
You: You are the account holder?
Me: Yes.
You: Okay, Mr. Some-funky-name, let me....

~For the rest of the phone call, you called me Mr. Some-funky-name or a couple times you said Mr. *last name*, but the first letter was wrong....and it was obvious, not just a difference in accents or the way the letter is pronounced. You'd occasionally call me "ma'am," but, even though that doesn't match the "Mr." portion.

19 minutes and 57 seconds later, I finally got off the phone. Yes, I checked the amount of time because I'll never get that 20 minutes back. My question didn't even require you to get into my account, so it feels like such a waste.

You really did get lucky, though. I didn't show any of my frustration on the phone. I didn't complain or get upset. I just kept respelling and slowly my words down so you could truly understand what I was saying. I've learned a foreign language. It's not easy!

Unfortunately, not all people are going to be so kind. I really do hope you have a good day. I was frustrated when I got off the phone, but only momentarily. You, however, have the rest of this day....this week....this month....this whole job.......to deal with people who aren't going to be patient. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Glad I'm Not in Your Shoes